I'm Lost Without You
by Zephyr Hearts
Summary: The night was perfect, and so is our love. "I love you Clare." Rated M for mature content!


**A/N: Well haha another one shot. I seriously LOVE Eli Goldsworthy, I believe he is the sexiest Degrassi character besides Spinner...god the things I would do to that man...sorry I get carried away a lot haha. Anyhoo. I was listening to the song I'm Lost Without You by Blink 182, and I was like...AWWWW Clare and Eli, but this story is only inspired by the song, it's not about the song, if that makes sense. This story will have a detailed lemon in it!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, but I do own the plot line and this story. So no takey D:**

**A/N 2: I should put this out there, um...when I write sex in a story, it's really detailed. So if you don't like to read sex, then...I suggest you uhh either skip through it, or just not read it. Other than that have fun reading it! This story is Clare's POV!**

**Enjoy!**

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I'm Lost Without You

Summary: The night was perfect, and so is our love. _"I love you Clare." _Rated M for mature content!

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Eli-gold48: What are you doing up so late?

Clare-e24: Just got finished watching a movie, what are you doing up so late?

Eli-gold48: Thinking about you *wink*

I felt my face get really hot, and my cheeks had turned pink, but aside from my small nervous blush, I smiled.

Clare-e24: Glad to know I'm in your thoughts

Eli-gold48: Always

Clare-e24: So, is there a reason why you IM'd me at 2 in the morning?

Eli-gold48: Ouch so cold Clare.

Clare-e24: Can't handle it?

Eli-gold48: Pretty sure I can...are your parents sleeping?

Clare-e24: They're out of town, won't be back until tomorrow, why?

Eli-gold48: Really now? Haha because, as soon as I get to your house, I'm going to climb up to your balcony, and I'm going to kiss you.

I blushed really dark again.

Clare-e24: How about you just stay home?

_Eli-gold48 has logged out._

My jaw dropped and I growled. Every time Eli and I are talking, he'll say something he knows I will object to, and he signs off. I logged out of my IM, and since Eli didn't get my IM, I waited for him to start throwing small rocks at my window like he has been doing for the past two days. Eli and I have been dating for about a month now though, so I guess it's okay that he's been sneaking up to my room at two o' clock in the morning, or three.

_'Clink!'_

I looked towards my window, and I watched as a small rock hit the glass. I got off from my bed, and I walked to it, and saw Eli staring up at me with that smirk he always has on his face. I opened the door, and watched him climb up. Once he was inside, I closed the door.

Just like Eli had said in our conversation, he had me up against the wall, with his hands on either side of my head, and he kissed me. I placed my hands on his shoulders, and I kissed him back. Eli pulled away and let his forehead rest against mine. I looked up at his green eyes and he kissed me again. He pulled me closer to his body and this caused me to moan as he nipped at my bottom lip and his tongue licked the inside of my mouth. I felt chills run up and down my spine when Eli let his hands roam all over my body, and he picked me up and placed me gently on the bed. I watched as he crawled on top of me and Eli leaned down and he kissed me again.

Eli started to kiss my neck, and his hands snaked up and down my sides, playing with the hem of my shirt, lifting it slightly to show my stomach.

"Hmm, you smell so good Clare." Eli said against my neck as he nipped softly at my skin. I stopped his hands when he lifted my shirt up a little too high, revealing my pink bra. Eli pulled his head up and looked at me.

"Eli, I don't want you to see." I said.

"Why not? Clare, I love your body...you have nothing to be ashamed of." Eli said, kissing my forehead. I swallowed the lump that grew in my throat, and I nodded my head slowly. I got really nervous when he removed my shirt. Eli started to kiss my neck and I started to shake slightly when his lips traveled down to my breasts. He kissed the tops of them and slowly reached up and cradled them in his hands, and he started to grope me. I let out a small moan. Eli kissed his way up to my ear, and he licked the shell and sucked on my earlobe before he whispered, "Can I take it off?" I felt my entire body melt. I wanted to feel more pleasure, and I nodded my head. Eli's hands reached up to the middle of my bra, and I felt him unclasp it.

Once again, I felt the heat rise up to my face when I felt Eli's eyes on me. I couldn't help but watch through half lidded eyes as he slowly leaned down and he took my nipple into his mouth. I moaned loud, and while his tongue and teeth played with it, his hand was groping my breasts, and his index and thumb teased my other nipple. I arched my back and Eli slowly grazed his tongue up to my collar bone where he started to suck and bite on.

"Eli..." I blushed hard when I took note that his name left my lips, and I covered my mouth. Eli sat up in between my legs, and I watched as he took his shirt off, revealing his slightly toned body. I looked away slightly, tilting my head to the side. Eli was now on top of me, and he pulled my head towards him softly, and kissed my mouth. He moved his mouth over mine, and he sucked at my bottom lip, demanding entry into my mouth, and I slightly parted my lips. His tongue pushed passed my teeth, and started to dance against mine. I moaned in our kiss when he reached up and started to massage my breast.

My hands found their way around his neck where I felt the chain of his necklace under my palms. Eli moaned when I had took a fist full of his hair in between my fingers. Eli place his hands on my hips and I felt him tug on the waist band of my basketball shorts. I stopped him, "Eli...I don't want you to see me...I've never done this before."

"Clare, you're beautiful, like I said you have nothing to be ashamed of," He leaned into my ear, "I'm going to take things very slowly with you, if you're not ready I understand...just let me...pleasure you." I listened to his voice, and I slowly nodded my head. Eli kissed my lips tenderly and he started to kiss down my body. He stopped at my belly button and his tongue dipped inside, and swirled around. I let out a small gasp, and when he slowly pulled my shorts down, my heart started to beat rapidly against my rib cage. My thighs started to shake, as Eli slowly parted them. I watched as he slowly lowered his head in between my legs, and he placed a kiss in my inner thigh, then on my other inner thigh, teasing me.

For some reason this feeling in my lower stomach started to boil, and I lifted my hips up slightly. Eli took that note and his tongue slowly started to move up and down over my crotch, through my panties. I moaned breathily and he moved his mouth up and sucked on my clitoris through my panties as well and I moaned loud. I felt him move my panties to the side, and I cried out when his tongue slowly moved inside me.

"Eli!" I moaned when his tongue moved at a fast pace inside me. Eli moved his tongue up and he had started to lick my clitoris slowly while he ghost his fingers against my inner thigh, and he slowly pushed his middle finger inside me. I cried out his name repeatedly. This pleasure caused me to go insane. I wanted more. As if on cue, Eli moved his finger faster and I moaned loud and long. Eli's name slipped out of my mouth and a tight ball of pressure exploded, causing me to arch my back clean off my matress. Eli placed a kiss on my inner thigh and he crawled up to me and kissed my mouth. I could smell myself around his mouth, and I couldn't help but blush so hard. Eli tugged at my bottom lip with his teeth, and he pulled away softly. I looked up at him, and covered myself, still feeling so embarrassed that someone is touching my body, so much as looking at it made me feel so inpure.

"Clare, do you want me to stop?" Eli asked. I chewed on my bottom lip, and swallowed hard. I didn't know what to tell him. I wanted to feel more of this pleasure I was receiving, but I feel so...ameture to it. Eli cupped my face, and slowly turned my head to him. I looked up into his green eyes, and I opened my mouth to speak.

"Eli, I don't know...what to do. I don't want you to stop, but...I don't want to feel like I'm too much of a virgin for you." Eli narrowed his eyes to me, and he blinked a few times. He laid his body on top of mine, after he removed my hands from my chest, and he brought my hands to his lips, and he kissed my fingertips softly, "What makes you think I'm not a virgin?" I gave him a confused look and I opened and closed my mouth, trying to figure out what exactly to say to him. Within the next few seconds, Eli was kissing me again, his mouth moved over mine, and he ran his hands up and down my arms, and he cupped my cheek. I slowly moved my hands down his chest; I traced the lining of his highly visible abs. My hands found their way to his hips, and I ghost them up his back, circling my arms around his shoulders.

Eli softly kissed my eyelids, and then the corners of my mouth, my nose, cheekbones, and then he moved his lips to my ear where he moaned softly when I rubbed the back of his neck. I liked the way that sounded, and I did it again, only I scraped my nails through his hair, and he moaned again. I watched as he pushed his body up, and he started to unbutton his black jeans, and I turned away and squeezed my eyes shut when I heard them fall to the floor.

"Clare, look at me." Eli murmured. I slowly turned my head to him, but my eyes remained shut. Eli leaned up and kissed my eyelids again, "I'm not taking my pants off because I want to have sex with you, I'm just gettin comfortable." Eli reassured me. I opened my blue eyes, and they locked on with his green orbs. He positioned his body on mine, and he lay on top of me. Eli twirled my hair in between his fingers, and he smiled at me. I smiled softly back and I swallowed the lump in my throat; I was still very nervous and scared as to what was going to happen next. Eli laid down next to me, and I grabbed the sheets and covered myself. He looked at me with those green eyes, and removed the hair that covered my eyes.

"Why are you so afraid of me?" Eli questioned.

"I'm not...afraid of you." I responded, blushing. Eli grabbed the blanket, and he tried to pull it off, but I kept up. He smirked lightly, and he said, "You're afraid of me looking at you," with that he leaned over and started to kiss my ear, then down to my neck, then up to my lips, "I love you Clare, I love everything about you. Your eyes," he kissed my eyes, "Your lips," he kissed my lips, "Your incredibly desirable skin." He kissed my shoulders, and down my arms. I laid there and Eli started to run his fingers up all around my neck, down my chest, taking the blanket with him. I watched him look at me. Eli reached up and he ran his finger tips over my breasts, grazed them over my nipples, and down to my stomach. I leaned to him, and I kissed him on the mouth. He was driving me insane. I moved my mouth against his, and I snaked my tongue into his mouth. Eli placed his hands on my shoulders, and he pulled me closer to him.

My chest was pushed up against his and Eli wrapped his arms around me, keeping me close to him; Eli's body was warm, and so were his hands. I started to kiss his neck shyly, and I moved down to the hallow of his throat, and I nipped at the corners of his collar bones. I really didn't know what I was doing, since I was so clueless in pleasuring guys. I moved my lips back up to his mouth, and I softly nipped at his bottom lip. Eli moved his body on top of me, and I whimpered when he had moved his hips towards mine. I heard him moan in his throat, and he did it again. I placed my hands on his shoulders, and Eli had started to move his hips in a slow and steady pace. I felt that the place in between his legs was hard, and I moaned a little loud, because I enjoyed the feeling so very much.

Eli moaned, and he grasped my hips, thrusting himself against me harder. I moaned and covered my mouth, trying not to sound so loud.

"Don't cover your mouth Clare, please." Eli said against my ear. I slowly moved my hands from my mouth, and I lowered my gaze. Eli chewed on his bottom lip, and he thrust his hips forward, causing me to toss my head back a bit, and a moan spilled from my open mouth. Eli placed his hands on either side of my head and he lifted his upper body up. I watched his hips move back and forth against mine, and my teeth bit down on my bottom lip. Eli leaned down and he kissed my lips, sucking on my lower lip. I felt his fingers curl against my panties, and he slowly moved them down. I pulled my mouth away and looked up at him with curiosity gleaming in my eyes. Eli looked down at me and he stopped pulling my panties down.

"I'm sorry." Eli said, and he started to pull them up, but I stopped him and said, "Eli, I don't want you to apologize. I know I said that I don't want to have sex, but Eli...I trust that you're going to be gentle...with me?" I looked down, and blushed ten different shades of red, I know I did. Eli kissed my forehead.

"Clare, I promise I will be gentle, I don't want to hurt you." I kissed him on the mouth and pulled away, holding his face close to mine, and our foreheads rested against each others.

"I um...I love you Clare." Eli said.

"I love you too Eli." I smiled. I really smiled, because I never really loved anyone, not even K.C. Eli seemed to complete me. As Eli started to remove my panties, he kissed me and he then removed his boxers. I blushed when I looked down at him. My face turned so red that I felt so light headed. Eli reached around to the floor and he dug into his pant pockets, and I noticed that he had pulled out a condom. I swallowed hard, and I breathed hard.

"Clare, if you don't want to do this, you don't have to. I'm willing to wait." Eli said.

"No, I'm ready...I'm just...nervous." I responded with a small short laugh. Eli nodded and he opened the wrapper, and I chewed on my bottom lip, and shyly watched him put it on. He placed his hands on either side of my head and as slow as possible, Eli started to incert his cock (1) inside me. I squeezed my eyes shut, and whimpered. The pain was unbearable and I grabbed his hips, I was scared. Eli leaned down and whispered sweet words in my ear before he thrust himself deeper inside me, causing me to cry out in pain. Eli kissed my tears away and said, "It will get better, I promise." And he kissed my lips. I nodded and I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, and Eli started to move his hips back and forth slowly. I moaned softly and he started to moan in my ear. I blushed and pulled him closer to me.

"Eli." I moaned his name and his head fell to the crook of my neck and he started to move faster. Eli moaned and he lifted his upper body up, and looked down at me while he thrust his hips harder and faster. I moaned loud and I clenched the bed sheets. The pain had subsided and all I could feel was pleasure building up inside me. Eli grabbed my hips and he started to slow his movements when he noticed that tears had started to spill from the corners of my eyes. I chewed on my bottom lip and I softly grabbed his head and pulled him down to kiss me. Eli moaned a little loud when I lifted my hips to meet his. I removed my mouth from his and I cried out when he hit a particular deep spot inside me. Eli took that opportunity to thrust deeper inside me and I moaned fast and loud everytime he hit that spot.

"Eli!" I covered my mouth when I realized that I had screamed his name.

"Clare, say my name again...please." Eli said against my ear, his breath was hot and moist.

I whimpered when his hand cradled against my breast, and he teased my nipples.

"Eli!" I moaned again. Eli moaned and his thrust quickened, and that feeling in the pit of my stomach started to form, and it exploded; I screamed his name. Eli still thrust his hips and he groaned, but still moved slowly in me. He collapsed on top of me and we both breathed heavily. Eli slowly pulled out of me, and I silently moaned from the loss. Eli peeled the wrapper off and I watched him get up and throw it away. I blushed when I finally realized that Eli was standing naked in front of me. He crawled into bed beside me and he covered our bodies with my blanket.

"I love you Clare."

"I love you too Eli."

And we both fell asleep in each other's arms.

The End

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**I know crummy ending. But I really enjoyed typing this. I got really excited when I saw that they were going to kiss finally in the new episode and I was like...NEW STORY! Haha, well. I would just like to announce that I am going to start taking suggestions. So, If you want you can send me a PM and I will totally read through it and see what you peeps suggest I should type :D**

**In other words...**

**See you soon!**

**MewIchigo24**

**Aishiteru!**

**Arigato for those who read and reviewed!**

**Sayonara -waves-**

**(1) Um...I really don't like the word penis so, sorry for Clare but I had to use the other words. Penis is such a wimp word .**


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